mark this: 14:13-14--
The woman said, "Why then have you devised a thing like this against the people of God? When the king says this, does he not convict himself, for the king has not brought back his banished son?
Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him.
Absalom seems to have been David's favorite son. He was more like David than any of his other sons. David probably intended that Absalom succeed him as king. When Absalom fled Israel after he had killed his half-brother (as revenge for the rape of Absalom's sister) David longed to bring him back. He mourned for him and wished for his return. But he did not offer Absalom his total forgiveness.
God's forgiveness is absolute, unconditional, total:
As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us (1).
When we have confessed our sins to God, they are forgiven and forgotten (2)--
"Father, please forgive me. I've messed up again."
"Again? I don't recall what you're talking about."
David was a man who sinned greatly, yet he was forgiven completely. (Because of another irrevocable principle--the law of sowing and reaping--the consequences of our sin continue to crop up, but our Father has forgotten them completely.) But now David cannot completely forgive his son.
Although a reconciliation was made, it was a reluctant reconciliation on David's part. The fact that David did not give Absalom wholehearted forgiveness rankles in Absalom's soul, and sets the stage for the rebellion, war, and death to follow.
Someone has said that "Unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping someone else will die." Just so, David's unforgiveness turns on him and begins the disintegration of his kingdom.
We are the most forgiven people in the world. We should be the most forgiving. Forgiveness should be the hallmark of a Christian:
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you (3).
(1) Psalm 103:12; (2) Jeremiah 31:34 & Hebrews 10:17: (3) Ephesians 4:32