Thursday, December 10, 2009
you'll find your answers in the question
The Word for today:
mark this: John 21:17 --
He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?"
I don't always know exactly what love is, but I know when I'm in love and when I'm not.
I'm not a counselor, but I've been around. I know dissolution and divorce. And because I do, people with marital difficulties sometimes seek me out. I'm not philosophical by nature and I'm uneasy when people describe skeletons that should stay in their closets and laundry that's too dirty for the line. I'd really rather not know. I've got enough skeletons and dirty laundry of my own. And sins all tend to look alike to me. So knowing mine, I tell them, I've seen yours.
So I cut through the he-said, she-said and get to the point: Do you love her? Do you love him? If the answer is Yes, that marriage can last and become better than ever. All that's needed is that love be communicated, be shown.
But if the answer is No, then there's no need to work on communication. Because, what are you going to communicate? If the answer is No, there needs to be an all-out search for the love that got lost--if there was ever any love in the first place.
When your faith goes dry; when the zest and zeal for service cool; when prayer is a chore; when the enticements and lifestyles of the world seem to shine brighter than Jesus; when it's all out of gear and out of tune; then go to the last page of the gospels, and get to the point: Do you love Him?
If the answer is Yes, then just tell Him so and show Him so. You'll figure out how.
If the answer is No, then search high and low for the love that got lost. Did you let the spontaneity degenerate into rote repetition? Is that where love went? Or have you been trying so hard that it all descended into the empty trap of a works-based religious charade?
Or it might be that you never really loved Him in the first place. Did you go the church route because your family does, or because you thought you'd give the Jesus bit a whirl?
Don't make this a religion. This is a marriage.
Don't make this a marriage of mutual affection and esteem. This is hot and ardent love that runs under its own power.
You may be standing at the door, with one foot in and one foot out. Go to the last page of the gospels. You'll find your answers in the question.